I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
