Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
