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• (269): View more from Michigan

  just do him I won't tell jon

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  so yall hooked up?

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick

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• (619): View more from California

  He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Big girls don't cry they get day drunk

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  That's what you say about everyone.

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• (925): View more from California

  So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  She's going to hate me

  (425): View more from Washington

  Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.

  (425): View more from Washington

  The rest will just start to agree

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!

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