why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
