she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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