so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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