HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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