no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
