are you still at the devil's house?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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