God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I want her autograph on my taint
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
