but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
