Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
