I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
