i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
