He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He shit in the fireplace
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
