Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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