So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize