we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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