Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
