I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think people are normalizing furries
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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