That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
