Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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