dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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