hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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