You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
