Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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