SEEEEXXX PLEASE
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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