Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
