never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
