break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
