What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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