you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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