Kiss
Puke
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
