What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
