The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.