dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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