The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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