I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
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We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.