Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.