Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
