God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?