these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
