I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
