I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
