So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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