Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
