I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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