My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
