We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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