Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
dude. I can hear the air.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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