my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
