I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
