I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize