im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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