let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
