Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i think my cat just said my name.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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