Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
