Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize