garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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