just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
