are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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