reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
