There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
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That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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