Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
