Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
