I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize