I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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