I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
